yes

I have considered what it'd be like if... I stopped existing. As morbid as that sounded, yes. I have considered and thoroughly thought about it.

I don't think anyone really reads my blog posts anymore, but I suppose it's a good thing now?

I don't know anymore.

I.

Don't.

Know.

secrets

And... maybe I should've just kept everything to myself and hopefully one day, someone would be able to hear the screams of my heart even without a single sound escaping my lips.

And then I realised.

Emotions are heavy burdens to carry.

and then

Once my walls fell, so did everything else.

notes

What I look forward to: formal and the completion of the HSC so I can partayeeeeeeee. With my books. And go out with my loved ones.

What I don't look forward to: sitting the UMAT, the trial exams, and the HSC.

THREE BIG MILESTONES LEFT FOR THIS YEAR.

fhajfkhasflhaa words cannot describe the sheer boredom I feel when I read about my case studies and try to make notes on them.

i dont know

I don't know if I should be feeling this way.

Then again, it's my fault.

It always is, anyway.

sigh

I'm so tired.

Of everything.

enough

Never.

Ever.

Enough.

i'm living a nightmare

Suddenly, I came to an epiphany (epiphANNIE would've been a good jersey name, like my current one). I realised that maths has totally changed since year 7; not in the level of difficulty, but its transition from numbers to letters. Letters belong in English. So technically, I'm doing English in a more logical way. In any case, Mechanics is doing my head in because I'm so tired right now and I'm not feeling fine and dandy as I appear to be anymore.

I feel so drained and I feel like I should be panicking because exams are so close.

Sometimes I feel so sad, for no apparent reason.

Well, productivity has been moderate today. Finished section 3 of M&G notes for Physics and finished English homework with Jura before 12PM. And then I showered. And now I have another 2 questions before I finish my mechanics revision.

Then I'll do Conics notes. And then I'll probably revise for the maths exam at the end of this week.

Sigh.

deep

I'm glad that you accept me for who I am, what I was and hopefully who I will be.

I am really, really, really lucky to have someone like you.

deprived

lol.

Did I do something wrong? Again?

I never learn, do I?

i'm sorry

lol, I feel so horrible.

The last thing I want to do is push you away, because I know that pushing, to an extent, will drive you to your limit. And then you'll leave.

Again, I'm sincerely sorry. Really, I am.