New Blog

I have a new blog guys.

http://blotted-ink.blogspot.com

Like Cynthia has said: NO STRAGGLERS PLEASE! (Or something along the lines of that)

Enjoy? HAHAHAHA

piano

LOL.

I have four scratches on my nose from these ridiculous hang-nails.

That one silent cry as you play piano because you're too overwhelmed with anger and frustration and sadness that you end up playing a ridiculously morose song and it doesn't help your mood.

Then that throw of your semi-new phone against your bed knowing full well that it won't crack.

can you reach me from across the globe?

I feel that since the HSC/ATARs have been released, I should be starting on a brand new slate. Like, delete my previous posts. But you know, that's like deleting many of the good memories! In any case, I'll just keep writing as if life went on. Because you know, life goes on.

Anyway, I'll do a personal post about my life as it is. There will be many details revealed here, and though they will be exposed to the general public, they will be quite obscure. As ridiculously contradicting as that sounded.

Okay well, I'm just a bit over 17 and a half years old, and have just recently finished the 2012 HSC. I have been told that I am tolerant, motivated and determined, and I suppose they're all feats. My heart is filled with people I love, and they include my boyfriend (I swear that word seemed really childish when I typed it LOL - but by no means does that mean he's childish), my best friends and my family, in no particular order.

I tend to let things slide pretty easily, and let things go relatively fast. It takes a lot out of me, though, and the emotional toll is horrendous. I actually feel that in some cases, there might be deja vu, despite all reassurance. I am actually a very sad person inside, but I don't think I let that get in the way of how I respond to people. It all comes crashing down that moment I turn off my laptop and my air conditioning, where there is a quiet buzz. Then I start thinking of what could have been, how I could have responded and why I involuntarily torture myself with ridiculous feelings and thoughts.

I'm not a confident person either. I have had comments based on my insecurities reiterated over and over again, but I suppose they've become amusing. I'm not one to say how I truly feel about a situation - I tend to avoid confrontation at all, unless I think that it's really important - especially to me. I don't enjoy hurting people, I'd like to take the fall. I'm afraid of losing people to others, I'm afraid of losing people because of how I am, and I'm afraid of losing people. In general. I'm scared that once they over turn every pebble of my entirety, they'll think I'm bland and boring and just... stop bothering with me.

I mean, it's happened 3 times. LOL. I don't enjoy being in the crossfire of an argument, nor being the middle-person. It kinda gives me the brunt force of both sides and the end result is pretty devastating.

Anyway, on to much happier things. I love the colour blue. All shades of blue. But I love dark/navy blue the most. I also love watching comedies too. And I love Naruto. Like, I live within the fandom - I LIVE AND BREATHE AS A NARUTARD. In saying that - I am behind on so many chapters of this manga, it isn't even funny HAHA My OTP is ItaSaku. Don't ask - I know it ain't gon' happen. But even so, SasuSaku would be nice. It was my first favourite pairing. It still is, but ItaSaku has its charms.

I'm not a girly-girl. I found frills horrendous (I mean those ridiculous frills) and pink a flimsy colour. Unless it's strawberry ice-cream pink, because I like strawberry ice-cream. I also hated Chemistry. The subject itself was icky, but the people I had in my class, especially my P.I.C., were wonderful. Leopard-prints will always be my soft-spot because it's an inside joke HAHA <3 

Okay, I'm tired now. I'll go off and talk to my boyfriend and read my Whatsapp conversations in silence HAHA Goodnight!

offended

I'm offended that you still think I dress sloppily.

Wow.

You know, if I had concentrated on everything else but studying, we wouldn't even have met.

Thanks for having so much faith in how I manage my life. It really does move me so.

So much so that you made me cry.

Again.

the end

Within approximately half an hour, the last four digits of our academic lives thus far will be released. Our HSC marks were released yesterday, and most of us decided upon silence and minimal mention of whatever marks we attained.

I can't say I'm entirely thrilled about my marks, because there were a lot of 'could-have-been's. Especially 4u. I expected a few more marks, but I can definitely say that I underperformed in the actual exam. What saved my rear was the internal (which should have been a bit higher, I think, but I'm alright with that). Then we have English. Oh English, how you plague me so. I got the exact same mark for English in the School Certificate. I'm alright with that too.

But Physics.

I swear, I expected at least close to a band six, but I heard that first in our CVHS cohort didn't receive a band six either. I don't think anyone in our grade received a band six for Physics :(... It was my lowest mark, and I knew I was walking out of the exam with a mark that would drag down my average LMFAO. Oh well, I'm resigned to that mark anyway.

Overall, I'm satisfied. I expected a tiny bit more, a few marks added on to what I have, but I'm happy with it.

I can get into my detour course and I am over the moon with that thought.

MY ATAR WAS RELEASED. I am happy, but the ATAR calculators let me down by .25 HAHA I'm happy nonetheless!

Good luck to those who are about to receive their ATARs!!!!!

haha.

Haha.











That hurt.

do i even matter

Well, do I?

Sometimes I wonder if I ever leave marks in peoples'  hearts like they do in mine.

Because some stomp on my heart and it hurts.

Sometimes, I'm tired.